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THIS SITE IS INTENDED FOR A MATURE
AUDIENCE IF YOU ARE
UNDER 18 PLEASE CLICK HERE
Chapter 30
by Michelle M Pillow & Mandy M Roth
Every Breath You Take
“Please reconsider and stay home,” Darren pleaded softy.
Mandy shifted in his arms and tried to stand up. He’d
been holding onto her since she’d woken to find herself bathed and in bed.
Glancing up at him, she narrowed her eyes. “Tell me again how I ended up in
bed-- wet.”
He kissed her forehead lightly. “Honey, I already told
you that when you got hit with a little too much power, it knocked you
out.”
Something about the look on Darren’s face made her
wonder if he was telling the truth. He caressed her shoulder and closed his
eyes. “Stay home, please. Mandy, you had a hell of a night and you need to
rest.”
Mandy patted his bare chest and laughed. “We sure did
have a hell of night. But, I already told you… I feel fine. Better than
fine actually. It’s weird. I have more energy now than I’ve had in over a
month.”
Darren nodded. “I know, honey, but it would put my
mind at ease if you stayed away from the Raven for awhile. I really think
it would be for the best.”
He was right and she knew it, but it didn’t matter.
She’d let Michelle down too much already and she wouldn’t do it again. “No,
I promised Michelle I’d meet her there so I need to go. This is important
to me. Please try to understand.”
“I get it. I don’t like it, but I get it.” His jaw
tightened and he hugged her tight as he whispered, “I thought I’d lost you.”
“What?”
“Nothing. Tell you what… I’ll be fine with you going
to the Raven if you let me come too.”
Mandy’s eyes widened. “Uhh, I’m not sure that’s such a
good idea.” She tried to remember on what terms Armando left, but she
couldn’t. The last thing she remembered was Armando bowing and telling them
to go ahead and leave. The idea of putting Armando and Darren in the same
room again didn’t seem wise. “In fact, I’m sure that’s not a good idea.”
“I told you that the dead guy and I came to an
understanding.”
“Stop calling Armando ‘the dead guy.’”
Darren chuckled. “Sorry. Habit, I guess. But I’m
serious. We won’t get in a fight again.”
“Right,” she said sarcastically. “I need to talk to
him anyway. He might be a bit calmer now. Do you think I’ll be able to
smooth things over with him?”
“Are you sure you want to?”
Mandy pulled back from him, a bit surprised by his
question. “Of course I do. What makes you think I wouldn’t?”
Darren’s gaze raked over her. A sly smile spread over
his handsome face and he winked. “Well, you are lying naked in another
man’s arms.”
Mandy went to say something witty back, but stopped.
He was right. She’d been shocked at first, to find she had no clothes on.
But the minute she found Darren lying next to her, staring at her, she felt
an overwhelming amount of relief that it wasn’t Armando. What was that
about? She’d never been terrified of finding Armando by her side. If
anything, she looked forward to waking next to him. Not this time. No.
This time she’d been so happy it was Darren that she’d practically thrown
herself at him. He’d wrapped her tight in his arms and held her quietly
since then.
“You’ve changed a lot,” she said, running her hand over
his upper arm.
“Changed how?”
“For one, you’re bigger than I remember you being.”
Immediately, she shook her head, knowing how he’d take it. “And I mean
bigger in the sense of more muscular. You were always that way but now you
seem even more so. And….”
Darren let out a manly chuckle and ran his hands
through her hair. “Normally, I’d make a joke about being ‘bigger’ in all
areas… but… I’ll pass.”
“See! That’s another thing that’s changed.” She
looked up into his eyes and smiled. “The Darren I remember couldn’t resist
being a smart ass. It didn’t matter who he hurt in the process. If the
opportunity was there, he took it. But, you pull back now.”
He smiled and nodded. “It’s because we’re older now,
Mandy. I’d like to say we’ve matured but I know us a little to well. But,
we have grown up just a bit.”
“Have I changed?”
Darren bit his lower lip and laughed softly. “Hmm, let
me think… you’re still as mouthy as ever. You still have a quick temper.
You still have the ability to make the men in your life nuts and you….”
She smacked his chest and pinched him. “Hey!”
“Ouch,” he said jokingly. “You didn’t let me finish.
Mandy, you still have my heart and I think you always will. When we were
younger, that scared the hell out me. My feelings for you were so intense,
so raw, that I hated myself for it and I….”
Mandy sat up and stared at him. “And, that’s why in
the end you pushed me away?”
The look in his green eyes said she was right. “I’m
sorry I hurt you. I didn’t know how to deal with it all. Hell, we knew
each other forever and from the moment I laid eyes on you… it… it was like I
was spellbound. You didn’t seem to notice that I was into you for the
longest time. Then, when I finally got you to go out with me, I lived
everyday in fear you’d leave.”
“So, what, you date me for years, marry me and then
walk out?”
“No. Not exactly.” He reached for her but she shook
her head. He put his hands down and nodded. “A couple of weeks after we
were married, I woke up before you did, like usual. I laid there watching
you sleep for the longest time. I don’t know… my mind began to wander and I
thought about all the ways I could lose you… all that I wanted to give you…
all that you deserved, and it hit me that I wasn’t good enough for you. Not
then anyways.”
Mandy sat there staring at him. Tears came to her eyes
and the emotions she’d run from two years ago flooded back. “You fucking
left me because you thought you weren’t good enough for me? What the hell
is that about? A piece of me died the day you left me, Darren!” She moved
off the bed and snatched the sheet up to cover herself. “You were the first
man I’d ever let past my defenses and I loved you with all my heart! It
destroyed me when you left without saying a word. Do you know what I did?
Do you?”
Darren dropped his head slightly and whispered, “No.”
She laughed and put her hand on her hip. “I’ll tell
you exactly what I did, Darren. I fucked anything that moved for close to
six months! I didn’t care who or what they were, so long as I got to use
them and be done with them. I fucked so many men that I lost count… God… I
lost count! I lost all respect for myself. I figured that if the one man I
loved couldn’t love me, no one could.”
Darren looked up at her, his eyes red and full of
unshed tears. “I didn’t know you loved me, Mandy. You never said it. Not
once in all the years we were together.”
“I married you, Darren. I thought that spoke volumes!”
She spun on her heels and stormed toward the bathroom.
Instantly, Darren was behind her, pulling her to a stop, and closing his
arms around her.
“Honey, don’t do this. Don’t still hate me for making
the wrong decision.”
Mandy snorted. “The wrong decision? Is that what you
call almost ruining my life? Gawd, Darren you are the reason I hesitate at
every turn with marrying Armando. It has nothing to do with him. I love
him and he’s the only reason I’m not still fucking any available man. He
made me value myself again. He made me believe I had a right to be loved.”
Darren rocked her gently and held her tight. “Shh, I
know that I fucked up. Every day since I left, I wanted to come to you--to
make it right between us. But, I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t show back up
in your life in the same place I was before. I needed to be a better man,
Mandy. You deserved that.”
“No,” she bit out. “I never said you weren’t a good
man… that you weren’t good enough for me! I loved you for you, Darren. You
ripped my heart out only to show up when I found a man who made me whole
again. Why didn’t you go when you found out I was engaged? Why
didn’t you let me be happy? I deserved that.”
Darren sighed. “If I could do it over again, I would
have walked out the minute you told me you were engaged. I’m sorry, Mandy.
I never meant to hurt you--again. I’ll go.” He loosened his hold on her
and backed away.
Mandy turned towards him and caught hold of his waist.
Every ounce of her wanted to smack his face--to hurt him half as much as
he’d hurt her. Instead, she pulled him close and put her head against his
chest. Fighting to get control of her emotions, she looked up into his
eyes. “Come with me to the Raven tonight. I want you there. I think I
need you there.”
Darren was quiet for a moment. He tipped his head to
the side and narrowed his gaze. “Are you asking me to stay?”
Mandy shrugged. “I don’t know what I’m asking you.
And, I’ll understand if you do walk away. I can tell you that the idea of
you disappearing from my life again scares me. The problem is, I can’t
promise you anything above friendship, Darren.” She nuzzled her face back
against his chest and hugged him tight. “I get that this is going to send
you mixed signals, but if you decide to stay… could… would you… What I want
to know is, would you stay with me for awhile? Just until… I don’t know…
just for awhile.”
“In your house?” Darren asked, his voice strained.
Mandy tried to pull away. Her emotions were running
wild and she didn’t want to make a bigger mess of her life than she’d
already had. “Forget it. I’m sorry I asked. I didn’t mean it in a….”
“Yes, I’ll stay with you.”
Relief washed over Mandy. There was no way she could
survive her best friend being sick, Armando leaving her and Darren
disappearing. She pulled back from him and stood tall. “Thanks.”
He smiled and glanced towards the bathroom. “No
problem. Now, little wife of mine, get your ass in there and get cleaned up
if you’re still planning on going to see Michelle.”
Her mouth dropped open and Darren snatched the sheet
away from her. Laughing, he dangled it out in the air and winked.
“Darren!”
“It’s good to be home. Now go get ready.”
~*****~
Michelle frowned, eyeing her watch. Mandy had stood her
up--again. She wasn’t really surprised. It was pretty clear she wasn’t on
anyone’s priority list as of late. Dmitri obviously didn’t need her for
anything. Michelle blushed, taking a quick drink of coffee. Mike was
nearby and she didn’t want him to see her--whatever it was she was doing.
“Um, hey, that guy down there wants to buy you a drink.
Usually when they ask I tell them you’re taken, but you looked like you
could use someone buying you a drink.” Mike winked.
“Yeah, right, they must ask all the time,” Michelle
drawled sarcastically in obvious disbelief. She thought of Dmitri standing
in the door as her cab rolled off. Or worse, Dmitri in the bathroom jacking
off. Worse yet, Dmitri running from her, just short of screaming. Michelle
pushed her coffee towards Mike. “Flavor this up, would you?”
Mike reached for the creamer.
“No,” Michelle pointed at the stocked cabinet. “That.”
“Michelle, you shouldn’t… I mean, Dmitri said we
weren’t to give you liquor. You remember that party where you woke up and
thought you’d been abducted by aliens?” Mike grinned.
How in the world did he know about that? Michelle
frowned. Mandy. “Dmitri is not my keeper, Mike. If the gentleman at the end
of the bar won’t pay, I will. Give me a drink.”
Mind-numbing liquor sounded great. Maybe she’d become
and alcoholic. Michelle gave a derisive laugh.
“You, ah, won’t have an attack or anything?” Mike asked
worried.
Michelle frowned, but his words only reminded her she
needed to take a pill. She dug into her purse. No wonder Dmitri didn’t want
her. What was her lifespan anyway? Fifty years, tops? He’d live forever.
Could she really blame him? “Just forget it.”
Mike nodded, seeming relieved.
~*****~
“You don’t have to do this.”
Mandy held Darren’s hand tight and nodded. Just
staring at the Raven’s front door made her sick to her stomach. “I have to
do this. I need to see Michelle.”
“That’s not what I meant,” Darren said, bringing their
joined hands to his lips. He planted the softest of kisses on her hand.
“I have to face him sometime.”
“Right, but you just had a hell of an argument with him
two hours ago. Maybe you should give it a few more days.” He pulled her
close and kissed the top of her head. “But, if you want to do it now then
I’m here for you.”
His support meant more to her than she realized and she
almost burst into tears again. Crying wasn’t something she did often and
already tonight she’d lost control too many times to count. “Okay, it’s now
or never.”
Turning, she pulled Darren with her to the front door.
She spotted Makonnen, one of the clubs bouncers, and smiled. “Hey,
handsome.”
At seven feet tall and three hundred pounds he looked
like he’d be a bad ass. In many respects he was. But Mandy knew him and
Makonnen was a gentle giant. He looked at Darren and narrowed his eyes.
“Mandy?”
“Let me guess, Armando told you not to let Darren into
the club.”
Makonnen shook his head. “No, in fact, he hasn’t been
to the club in days. Dmitri mentioned that he was back from his business
trip, but he hasn’t come here… at least not yet. I do know that he missed a
meeting he was supposed to have with Dmitri but I figured he stopped off to
see you the minute he got back to town.”
That was odd. The Raven was Armando’s baby, his
outlet. He and Dmitri held partnerships in countless other business but the
Raven was the only one he spent a great deal of time at. The hairs on the
back of her neck rose quickly and she glanced around the parking lot. The
dark night seemed to close in on her.
Darren’s hand tightened on hers and he leaned down to
kiss her forehead again. “Go on inside, honey, and find Michelle. I forgot
something in my car.”
Mandy nodded and headed into the club happy to leave
the coldness that suddenly surrounded her.
~*****~
Armando watched from the shadows as Mandy stood hand
and hand with Darren near the entrance to the club. The jealous streak
within him surged up and he clenched his fists tight. He knew she sensed
him then. Mandy had somehow picked up on his power, his presence and he
felt her fear. He also felt her confusion. Her thoughts were wide open to
him now that they’d bonded so thoroughly. She was an open book to him. He
knew she still loved him and that although she was afraid of him, she still
wanted to talk with him. That wasn’t an option.
Armando couldn’t forgive himself for what he’d done to
her, to their child. He’d destroyed their happiness with his anger, his
demon. Never again would he put himself in a position to hurt Mandy
physically. If that meant distancing himself by severing ties then so be
it. She would rebound from emotional heartache but would she survive his
demon should it get loose again.
He watched as Darren kissed Mandy’s forehead and sent
her inside to see Michelle. The werewolf had no doubt sensed him lurking
near them and wanted to assure Mandy’s safety. That both pleased and
infuriated Armando.
When Darren turned and looked in his direction, Armando
allowed himself to be seen. Lifting the darkness he’d created to mask his
presence, he stepped forward.
“You got yourself under control?” Darren asked, without
the slightest bit of fear in his voice.
Fool, Armando thought as he moved towards him.
“I am under control, wolf.”
Darren nodded. “I won’t let you talk to her alone.
While she seems to think you’re calmer now, I don’t.”
“I am happy to see you protect her so. Though, I will
admit that I would prefer to do it myself, but circumstances as they are….”
“So what? Are you just going to lurk in the background
from here on out or are you going to work it out with her?”
Armando stepped forward and fought the urge to take
Darren by the throat. “Why are you so concerned?”
~*****~
Michelle tried to her take pill as secretively as she
could. Mandy plopped down beside her, scaring her as she swallowed. She
coughed, trying not to choke. Mandy’s smile instantly faded to concern.
“Hey, easy,” Mandy said.
“Damn, I thought you’d stood me up,” Michelle said,
trying to discreetly put her bottle back into her purse without it being
seen. “You’re late--again.”
“I know, I’m sorry. It…” Mandy looked towards the door,
shivering visible. “It couldn’t be helped. You know, car trouble.”
“Hum.”
“So, you called earlier. What were you saying about you
and Dmitri?” Mandy asked, straight to the point.
Michelle chuckled. Seeing Mandy’s face, she knew her
friend was stressed. She didn’t need to burden anyone. Besides, it was way
too embarrassing. “It’s nothing. He’s just a housekeeping psychopath.”
“Ouch, you must be in hell,” Mandy teased.
“I am. He alphabetized my notes.”
“He touched the sacred Michelle filing system?”
Michelle tried to frown but couldn’t. Not wanting to
get into her and Dmitri’s living arrangements, she turned to a safe
topic--work. “Okay, the Christmas Party. I talked to Armando several weeks
ago and he said we can have it here.” Mandy frowned. Michelle wondered about
it. “Anything you need to tell me?”
“Nope.”
“Okay.” Michelle didn’t believe her, but who was she to
argue? “I’ve had our assistant send out invitations so we can’t cancel. Are
you sure you’re okay? You look pale.”
“Quit worrying. I’m fine. Besides, you’re the one who
glows in the dark.”
“Sorry, I’ve been cooped up for so long.” Michelle
shrugged and grabbed her purse. She took out her notes. “Here’s the list.
Prince Ualan and his brothers should be here.”
“Mm,” Mandy’s eyes lit, “Prince Zoran. I so want to be
that warrior’s little slave.”
Michelle frowned. Mandy was always bold about stuff
like that--even joking--but this time there was a strange light to her eyes
when she said it. If Michelle didn’t know better she’d think Mandy was
serious.
“Mm, DRAGON LORDS,” Mandy continued, growing dazed.
“With their… ah… muscles… Will the Var be here to?”
Michelle tried to ignore the fact Mandy was panting
heavily. “Ah, they said they’d try to send an ambassador. Prince Jarek or
Reid, I believe. I can’t remember for sure. It’s not a definite. They don’t
exactly get along--are you alright?”
“Don’t you think Mike looks good in those pants?” Mandy
asked. “I never noticed he has such a nice ass.”
To Michelle’s horror, Mike with his lycan hearing,
turned and winked at Mandy. To her further horror, Mandy grinned naughtily
and winked back.
“Are you possessed?” Michelle said, shaking her.
Mandy blinked at the contact, looking at Michelle’s
hand. “Huh? What? I’m with you. Christmas party. Go on.”
Michelle frowned. Mandy looked fine now. Taking up her
notes, she went back to planning the party.
~*****~
Mandy sat next to Michelle, listening to the list of
guests for the Christmas party. Everyone from the King of the Dark Realm to
Royalty from far off planets was coming. Normally, the thought of spending
an evening like that would have excited her, now it was slightly off
putting.
Partying at the Raven had been a constant in her life
since she moved out here and now she wanted desperately to get the party
location moved. Too bad the invitations had already gone out.
Mandy glanced over at Michelle and watched as her
friend dug her hand into her purse and searched for something. She leaned
over to grab Michelle’s bag. “For the love of peters, what are you looking
for? You’ve been in and out of that bag like ten times.”
Quickly, Michelle tried to snatch it bag. Mandy held
it out. “Come on, what are you looking for? Please don’t tell me its
condoms because I’m thinking any that are in your purse expired long ago.”
“Tell me about it,” Michelle mused as she continued to
go for her purse. “Mandy, give it back.”
“No.”
“Mandy, give me the damn purse.”
Shocked by Michelle’s tone, Mandy stared at her. Gawd,
she was pale and thinner than she remembered. Michelle was already skin and
bones to start with. Losing even a few pounds could leave her looking like
the Crypt Keeper.
“Is Dmitri taking care of you?”
Michelle’s eyes widened as she grabbed her purse. “No,
as a matter of fact he’s… umm… I mean, yes. He’s taking care of me. Why?”
“You’ve lost weight. Does he feed you?”
A dreamy, far off looked appeared on Michelle’s face.
“Yeah, he can cook all right.”
Mandy snickered. “You still get turned on every time
someone makes you a meal?”
“I don’t get turned on when you cook for me.”
“Yes, but you don’t have the same tendencies I have so
it’s understandable. Oh, remember that time you had the crush on the pizza
delivery guy?”
“At least I don’t think Mike has a nice ass,” Michelle
shot back.
Mandy stared over at Mike and licked her lips.
Quickly, she shook her head. “Ick. Umm, no… err… no I don’t,” she said, a
little to fast.
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